I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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