today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize