I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize