Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
