Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
