She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
