Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
