Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i barfeds in our rink
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
