Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
