If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
