Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
