I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
