physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
