he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize