That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
