I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
