i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
