you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
