my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
