That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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