Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Do vagina's smell?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
