totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I think people are normalizing furries
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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