She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
