Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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