Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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