He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
