..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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