Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Life is so much better after having sex.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
