9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
