thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
