My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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