I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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