thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
