so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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