All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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