Just mADE A PArabola og urine
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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