I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You made out with two different species that night
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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