forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
