how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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