I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
