i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
