You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
