Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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