apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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