I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
