I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
