also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
