Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
