New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
