go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My cat gives me a boner
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
