I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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