Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
