i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
