dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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