brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
