he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
