oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
